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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 6, 2016 12:35am-1:38am EDT

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tonight a crowd gathered for the victim's wake. news 4's andrew sif is in ozone park tonight. >> reporter: chuck, what a heart breaking evening, not just in this neighborhood but across queens and really across the city. as you indicated, the new information coming in just as hundreds came here to the funeral home to pay their respects to the family. for more than six hours, friends and family of karina vetrano held on to each other, coming to grips with the sudden loss that hit ever family. a terrible, terrible crime. >> reporter: three days after someone dragged the 30-year-old off her grassy jogging path in the remote spring creek park, then sexually assaulted and killed her, the community remains in shock. >> i think it's horrible. my heart goes out to, you know, the family. >> reporter: neighbors pinned white ribbons to telephone poles. next to the $10,000 reward
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respects at the wake. and earlier a team of highly trained cops wore special gear to once again comb the high weeds. today they found karina's missing sneaker and earbuds, and sources tell 4 investigates some dna that could help crack the case. >> it's just devastating. she was someone who really loved life and just was always laughing, always having a good time whenever you saw she was just having a good time. so this wasn't supposed to happen to her. this is not something that happens to someone like her. >> reporter: police continue to believe it was a stranger who killed karina, not someone she knew. the funeral is scheduled for later on today in howard beach, not far from where she went running. we're live in ozone park, andrew siff, news 4 new york. new tonight, a child falls from an apartment window in jersey city, plummeting two
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news 4's michael george is outside the hospital in hackensack where that child is being treated. how did this happen, michael? >> reporter: it was a frightening sight. a child leaning out of a second-story window. neighbors only noticed when it was too late. >> the lady call me and say look at the boy. he's going to fall. >> reporter: seconds later, the boy did fall from the second story to the hard pavement below. >> hit his knees and then his just like that. >> reporter: witness alberto suarez says he rushed over to help the unconscious boy, but he claims when he tried to call 911, the boy's mother and her boyfriend got angry with him. >> he called 911. he said don't do it. what do you mean don't do it? are you kidding me? >> reporter: alberto says he called 911 anyway. jersey police haven't said whether his claims are true. the boy was rushed to the hospital. his father, who wouldn't speak
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stable condition. >> was the boy talking when they took him away? >> no, no. i just hope he survives. >> reporter: and the good news, that child is expected to survive. we're told he's getting a cat scan to see if there's any permanent damage. live in hackensack, michael george, news 4 new york. police are questioning the family of a baby girl found dead inside a westchester home. this as law enforcement sources tell us may have been stuffed in a freezer at some point. detectives found her body in the bedroom of a mount vernon apartment. they said she had trauma to her face. so far, no one has been charged in connection with the death. it's shocking video showing the last minutes of a man's life before he was shot by the chicago police. tonight that video and the actions of the officers are under review. [ gunfire ] the video taken from police body and dashboard cameras shows the moments leading up to the
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police say they spotted a stolen jaguar. the video shows the car sideswiping a police car, then the officer firing his gun. a few yards away, the jaguar and another police car collide, followed by more gunfire. o'neill was then seen in handcuffs. the video captures officers talking about what just happened. >> i don't want anyone to lie to my face and tell me -- and try to show my i want to know the truth myself. >> police did not find a gun at the scene. department rules prohibit police from shooting at a moving vehicle. police in london charged a 19-year-old in the stabbing rampage that killed an american and injured five others. investigators think mental illness drove the suspect, a norwegian national of somali descent to lash out in russell square wednesday night. american victim darlene horton was the wife of a florida state professor who was teaching in london. they were supposed to fly home
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it wasn't a change of heart for donald trump. tonight the republican presidential nominee endorsed speaker of the house paul ryan, john mccain, and new hampshire senator kelly ayotte, all of whom he had previously declined to endorse. >> working hand in hand, we will grow our majority in the house and in the senate. we need that. we got to get things done. >> on satu, new hampshire for an evening rally in windham. meantime, hillary clinton was again embroiled in her e-mail scandal after appearing to falsely claim the fbi director said she never lied to the public about her use of a private server. >> now, i have acknowledged repeatedly that using two e-mail accounts was a mistake, and i take responsibility for that. >> she made those comments while speaking to the national association of black and hispanic journalists. clinton repeated her assertion
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e-mails she knew to be marked classified. coming up on news 4 new york, a veteran robbed while confined to a motor scooter. how he describes the encounter and the sacred item he is grateful he didn't have on him. and you know that texting while driving is illegal, but how about drinking coffee or applying makeup? where distractions like that could soon cost you. >> and big changes for path train riders. what you need to know to avoid getting stuck this weekend and pretty
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fios is not cable. we're wired differently.
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which means that in the time it takes mr. wagner to pour a 20 oz. cup of coffee, tommy can download 30 songs, and jan can upload 120 photos. 12 seconds. that's the power of fiber optics. and right now you can get 100 meg internet with equal upload and dowloads speeds, tv and phone for just $69.99 per month online. cable can't offer internet speeds this fast at a price this good. only fios can. several people are hospitalized after yesterday's massive house explosion in connecticut. everybody is expected to survive, but two people are in intensive care tonight.
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collapsed. four people trapped inside were rescued. among the injured, a 7-year-old boy and two 12-year-old girls. police are investigating whether the homeowners were using propane gas. new tonight, all crimes are bad, but this is just down right cruel. >> a war veterans robbed in the bronx while confined to a motor scooter he needs to get around. tonight he tells news 4's checkey becford how it happened and the item he is grateful he didn't have on >> reporter: this vietnam combat veteran still has his cherished dog tags. he wasn't wearing them when they say this man shown on surveillance video snatched a gold chain off his neck. and ventura believes this is why he was targeted. >> because i'm on this. he figured, well, if he's on that, obviously he can't run. >> reporter: unable to walk but a few feet because of a chronic heart condition, ventura relies
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>> right here is where he snatched it. >> reporter: he was entering his 3rd avenue building when the video shows the alleged thief run up. off camera, he snatched the chain and took off. >> he yanked it hard. lucky he didn't cut my neck. >> reporter: neither the building security guard sitting just feet away nor the man holding the door acted as a deterrent for the brazen suspect. >> i never thought about it. i mean i never thought somebody would snatch my chain. >> reporter: but ventura's wife says she always worriesn leaves their home, checking in often. >> where you are? when are you coming? >> reporter: ventura now hopeful police will catch this guy before someone is hurt. >> we don't need people like that, especially i'm a senior citizen, so -- >> reporter: and ventura says he refuses to be held prisoner in his own apartment because of this robbery. he still plans to ride his scooter to run his errands. he does say he's looking into
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beckford. the grant son of the notorious teflon don is getting treatment for addiction to painkillers. john gotti was arrested yesterday on drug charges. his attorney told the dayny news he's in a detox program at rikers island. the 24-year-old was arrested at the home in queens where his late grandfather once lived. gotti is charged with distributing oxycodone in howard beach and hoe zone park. it's alreadyeg crackdown on distracted driving could go further than that. theability would impose stiff fines on drivers that drink coffee or brush their hair behind the wheel. proponents say the goal is to get people to focus on the road. others argue that new jersey already has it covered with existing laws against careless and reckless driving. we have a commuter alert for you. if your weekend plans have you taking the path train, there will be no service on the hoboken to 33rd street line, and
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weekend until mid-december. transit officials say these changes are necessary to make federally mandated safety improvements, but here's how to get around it. you can take the hoboken to world trade center train instead. that line typically doesn't run on weekends, but it will be during the service changes. the newark to world trade center line will also run as usual. got a question for you, janice. do we have to knock the ten-day forecast down to it's now 1247. >> we'll show you the extended ten-day forecast coming up. we of course have been talking about the likelihood of thunderstorms tomorrow, a few that may be severe. we're tracking a few of those storms right now. we'll show you where they are coming up. right now as we check what's happening outside, the empire state building has actually been changing different colors in honor of all the different athletes representing different countries in the olympics.
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but i think that's a different country there. if you watch it, you can see it change colors and representing all the countries that are in the olympics. of course the olympics kicked off tonight with the opening ceremonies and you'll be able to see all the coverage right here on nbc 4. we've got increasing clouds in the area overnight as that front approaches. it's dry for most of us in the morning up until about noon. and then we'll start to see some showers and thunderstorms popping up north and west. the time span for the activity tomorrow iner be between 1:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., but that's not meaning it's going to rain the entire time where you live. it will start out north and west around 1:00, and then move towards the city around 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, and then off to long island around 7:00. so it comes in segments, you see. you'll just have to keep an eye to the sky and make sure that you're ready to move indoors if you have to when the storms approach. so tomorrow is of course the steamy, stormy day with highs in the upper 80s to near 90.
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temperatures, and then sunday is great. 70s right now in city island. the temperatures won't drop off too far from this tonight. you have a few 60s around monticello and sussex, but it's a lot milder now. the weather is quiet here overall, but we are tracking a few showers and storms to the north and west. most of those are across interior new york state, south of syracuse, near binghamton. a few heavy downpours tracking to the northwest of albany. the front is b buffalo. now, at 5:00 a.m., if you're up that earlier, temperatures will be in the upper 60s to mid-70s, and we'll start to feel the thickness of the air. most of us will see our warmest temperatures around 1:00. the city is at 88. north and west you're in the 70s because that's when you'll get your storms first. right around 80 near the shore. then around 7:00, you can see it's up to 88 because the sun will probably be out before it sets and then the storms continue to move off towards the
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york city summer streets festival where the streets shut down. east 72nd and park all the way down to laugh yet street and the book lynn bridge. there will be a water slide, all that's going on. everything should be fine for tomorrow until 1:00. it ends at 1:00. around 2:00 or 3:00 the city will likely see some thunderstorms. in the meantime, if you're going to the shore, make sure that you're m by about 3:00 before the storms start to move in. 88 the high tomorrow. that's the hottest day for the weekend, and then it's pleasant sunday, monday, into tuesday. have a good weekend, everybody. >> thank you. you too. what's coming up in sports? >> an emotional day for yankees fans. they got attached to mark teixeira. still has a couple more months but he has decided he'll call it a career after this year. the first baseman talks retirement and why now coming
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focused on winning, and they proved it tonight against one of the american league's best teams. sports is just ahead. and here's what jimmy fallon has coming up tonight. >> hey, guys, jerry seinfeld is here but seth rogen and i go head to head in a lip sync
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i had a wonderful time tonight. me too! call me tomorrow? i'm gonna send a vague text in a couple of days, that leaves you confused about my level of interest. i'll wait a full two days before responding. perfect! we're never gonna see each other again, will we? no-no. wouldn't it be great if everyone said what they meant? the citi double cash card does. 1% when you buy and 1% as you pay. the citi double cash card. double means double. when people ask me what it's like to win an olympic medal,
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your bronze. your silver. your gold. and liberty mutual insures them all. liberty mutual is proud to insure every team usa medal won in rio, just like we protect the medals you've earned in life. liberty stands with you.
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new tonight, we're learning the closing day for the trump taj mahal in atlantic city. october 10th. owner carl icahn says the casino was losing millions each month. the workers are and pension benefits. nearly 3,000 people are going to be out of work. after the taj mahal closes, seven casinos will remain in atlantic city. do you always have a problem finding a parking spot? how about an alert on your phone on what your chances are of finding a parking spot. it's all part of google map's next update. you can opt for a text alert on how many open spaces are available at your destination. service will take into account the time of day and if there are
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events. the apple described parking congestion in levels of increasing severity such as easy, medium and hard. i'll take it. >> they're probably going to have a fourth one for manhattan that says forget about it. be right back with john chandler
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when people ask me what it's like to win an olympic medal, i tell them, "you already know." your bronze. your silver. your gold. and liberty mutual insures them all. liberty mutual is proud to insure every team usa medal won in rio, just like we protect the medals you've earned in life. liberty stands with you.
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fios is not cable. we're wired differently, which means we can fix things differently. you can't tell me this cord isn't in. i know it's in. it's in, but it's not working. i'm sending you a link to the my fios app that going to let me see what you're seeing. really? yes, mr. mcenroe... see that cord? just plug it into the connector on the right. so you can clearly see what's in and what's out? oh absolutely. i like that. tech support that lets your technician see the problem over your smartphone.
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desk is sponsored by fios by verizon. fios is not cable. we're wired differently. pretty emotional day for mark teixeira and his fans. >> indeed. 14 years. that's a great career. tex wanted to play a little bit longer than that, but ultimately father time catches up. teixeira was batting third, and after this season you won't see tex on the lineup card. he's retiring. he fought back tears making the announcement today. almost daily neck pain complicated by a knee injury, and he didn't want to talk about his legacy. he said that's for us to determine. so i'll do it for him. 404 home runs, five gold gloves. tex was one of the game's all-time best switch hitter. he hit 30 homers and drove in 100 runs in eight straight seasons. that is remarkable consistency. of course he helped the yankees win the world series in 2009.
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and had more success than i could ever imagine. but it felt like it was the right time for me to step away from the game. and i want to finish this season on a high note. i know my teammates want to finish this season on a high note. we're going to do everything we can to win games and i'm going to leave it all out there. >> speaking of wins games, he told his manager he'll do whatever he needed. girardi said i need you to play first. time since may. bases loaded for starlin castro. when this lands, it's his first career grand slam. yankees jump in front 6-0. they lead 6-3 in the fifth. the rookie drove in two runs on the day. yankees roll the al central-leading indians 13-7 the
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trip back for yoenis cespedes since last year's trade to the mets but he's on the disabled list. that puts even more pressure on the mets starting rotation. noah syndergaard matching up against verlander. martinez launched a rocket to right. two-run homer. tigers take a 3-2 lead. james mccann punches it the opposite way. synderd runs on seven hits and six innings. this was his fourth straight outing throwing over 100 pitches in six innings or less. the mets fall 4-3 to the tigers. detroit has won 9 of 10. they're blistering hot. the mets drop two back in the wild card. jets practice today was interesting. brandon marshall threw a punch atder rel reeve as. the two of them went at it all practice long before marshall took a swing.
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there's a thin line between football and being a man. >> rivas and i are actually really close. last year we got really close to that line of super-duper competitiveness, and today we crossed that line. but, again, that's part of camp. that's part of, you know, just competing. >> they're close, okay. giants welcomed odell beckham back to practice cleated. beckham was a full participant. all right. back to markteixeira. what a scene in the press room today. not only all of the assembled media. all his teammates there as well. quite a tribute. >> thanks, john.
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fios is not cable. we're wired differently, which means we can fix things differently. thanks for calling fios. this is ryan. you can't tell me this cord isn't in. i know it's in. it's in, but it's not working.
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yes, mr. mcenroe... see that cord? just plug it into the connector on the right. so you can clearly see what's in and what's out? oh absolutely. i like that. tech support that lets your technician see the problem over your smartphone.
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that's it for news 4 new york. the tonight show straight ahead. >> "today in new york" begins at 6:00 a.m. have a great weekend. [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jerry seinfeld, seth rogen, musical guest jason derulo. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 516, strong island! yeah. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon!
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> audience: u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] oh, that felt good. oh! i feel fantastic. welcome to the "tonight show," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] i'm your host, jimmy fallon, and i'm only wearing this so donald trump doesn't deport me.
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of course, everybody's excited about tonight's opening ceremony of the rio olympics! [ cheers and applause ] exciting. it's great. wasn't it great? i don't know about you. my favorite part was when they had all those guys dressed up like construction workers frantically trying to finish the stadium. [ light laughter ] so realistic. so realistic. but it's actually true. construction crews were still finishing parts of the stadiums in rio right before the opening ceremony. yeah, that's right. they went to cut the ribbo and the workers were like, "stop, that's holding it together! don't -- [ laughter ] don't cut that. wait till it dries. cut it in a week." of course, rio has had its fair share of problems the last couple of months getting ready for the olympics, but if you're looking for just one moment that sort of sums it all up, i think this might be it. >> and now, adding insult to injury, check out these workers using bolt cutters to open the gates to the stadium to tonight's venue after reportedly losing their key. [ laughter ]
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they're going to be so mad when they remember the spare key under the flower pot. [ laughter ] like, "oh, why didn't you tell me? i had a bolt cutter." this had some people disappointed. the international olympic committee is banning people from using their footage to make gifs or vines, which has a a lot of younger people bummed out. but they didn't say anything about memes. [ laughter ] so we wanted to help you get started. here's a few olympic memes that we came up with. first up, this meme says, at [ laughter ] [ applause ] this meme says, "when bae see that search history." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: here's another athlete. her meme says, "when you realize your mom joined facebook." [ laughter ] it's like, "noooo! no!" [ applause ] finally, here's a spring board diver. his meme is -- "just had chipotle." [ laughter ]
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you can do whatever you want with them. [ applause ] guys, here's an election update. i read that hillary clinton's campaign is stepping up their efforts to get millennials to vote for her in november. when he heard that, donald trump said, "i'm pretty sure millennial's gonna vote for me. she's my wife." [ laughter and applause ] "isn't that right, millennial?" this is pretty funny. donald trump unveiled his economic policy team today, and apparently it's made are actually named steve. [ laughter ] trump was like, "in my defense, you know how hard it has to find women named steve? [ laughter ] i mean -- i tried. [ applause ] right, millennial?" [ laughter ] i saw that a female reporter asked donald trump about how many women would be in his cabinet if he became president. and trump's answer was pretty good news for the reporter. take a look. >> who you would actually put into office as one of your
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>> well, we have so many different ones to choose. there really are so many that are really talented people, like you. you are so talented and -- i don't know if you're -- [ light laughter ] >> is this breaking news? am i going to be in the cabinet? >> you know, there really is some very talented -- >> is that a yes? >> sounds like it to me. >> oh! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: come on! it's not like some random tv personality can just end up in the white house. [ laughter ] itt we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, very much, everybody, thank you very much. the summer olympics opening ceremonies were so great tonight, and now we're happy to
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from the emmy nominated series, "comedians in cars getting coffee," jerry seinfeld is stopping by tonight! [ cheers and applause ] it's a big show. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: also, joining us tonight is another hilarious person, whose new movie "sausage party" is in theaters -- [ laughter ] -- everywhere next friday. features a superstar cast. "sausage party." >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: it's his film. >> steve: "sausage party." >> jimmy: our man, seth rogen, is in the house, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] it's an animated film. seth -- seth and i are going to talk about the "sausage party" movie. then he and i are going to face off in a lip sync battle. [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating vuvuzela ] >> steve: vuvuzela. >> jimmy: and we have great music from my pal. jason derulo is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating vuvuzela ] [ laughter ]
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, today's friday, and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails, and of course send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] well, i was running a bit -- running a bit behind, so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? you guys are the best. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i got my pen. i got my -- i got my note cards here. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ?? oh. >> jimmy: yeah. how patriotic he is. he wore his -- all his black, uh -- >> steve: his black plaid. >> jimmy: his black plaid, yeah. exactly, yeah. ?? thank you, nbc's coverage of the olympics in rio de janeiro, for allowing me to watch bob costas profile athletes, see matt lauer interview gold medalists, and most importantly, hear tom brokaw say, "rio jee janeiro." [ laughter ] rio dee janeiro.
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>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he's the best. [ light laughter ] ?? thank you, team u.s.a.'s opening ceremony outfits, for showing america that our athletes are ready and fired up -- to go to prep school in 1985? >> steve: yeah! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm down. ?? thank you, olympic event logos, for showing us that the guy from the men's bathroom sign likes to stay active. [ laughter ] i mean, busy dude. >> steve: busy guy. >> jimmy: he does everything. >> steve: everything! swims. >> jimmy: like crossfit. >> steve: skis. everything. >> jimmy: everything. >> steve: just like james. [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] ?? >> jimmy: thank you, 74th annual golden globes, for letting me host next year.
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?? although, now that the globes are 74, they just renamed them the sag awards. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey! is that true? >> jimmy: that is not true. it's a joke. >> steve: they didn't. okay. ?? >> jimmy: thank you, "the bachelorette," jojo, for choosing jordan, thus creating the perfect celebrity couple name, jojo. [ laughter ] >> steve: jojo. yeah. ?? >> jimmy: thank you, high jump, or as i like to call you, opposite limbo. [ laughter ] >> steve: exactly. you don't go under, you go over. [ applause ] ? everybody round the world jack be nimble jack be quick ? ? jack go under limbo stick ?
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>> steve: let's do it. [ light laughter ] ?? >> jimmy: thank you, "sausage party," for hitting theaters next week and hitting the internet this week. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey oh! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: hey! >> steve: wow! ?? orlando's in bloom. >> jimmy: all right. hey. [ cheers ] ho! hey! >> steve: hey! ?? >> jimmy: thank you, people who sleepwalk, for literally following your dreams. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ?? >> steve: thank you. [ light laughter ] ?? >> jimmy: thank you, nbc's logo during the olympics, for making it look like the peacock just laid a bunch of eggs. [ laughter ] there you go -- have it right there. those are my thank you notes. we will be right back with jerry seinfeld! [ cheers and applause ]
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?? t-mobile's coverage is unstoppable.
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ines, out in the country, deep in the city. we got you covered. 311 million americans and counting. and we won't stop. come see why t-mobile is the #1 recommended wireless company in america. what's up schumer? okay, i got roped into spending the day with my sister's kids (makes farting noise) and they like keep talking about back to school shopping? back to school is like our red carpet. just go to old navy. they have like the coolest back to school clothes up to 60% off. it's what we all wear. and they have jeans starting at like 10 bucks. noice! don't say "noice." sounds stank! no... stop.
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who's excited?
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[ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! welcome back! we are joined right now by a a legendary stand-up comedian who created and starred in one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, and his web series "comedians in cars getting coffee" was just nominated for emmy award for outstanding variety talk series. please welcome one of the best to ever do it, mr. jerry seinfeld! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? ??
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>> jimmy: we'll all sit down, we'll all relax. >> i didn't want, i just wanted that part. >> jimmy: no, no. we got to talk part. >> oh. >> jimmy: yeah, the talk part. >> okay, all right. >> jimmy: it's a talk show, yeah. >> oh, it's a talk show. [ light laughter ] people talking. >> jimmy: people talking. that's what we do. >> it's ridiculous. >> jimmy: no, this is not ridiculous. people like to watch this. >> they do. it's weird. they can talk, but no, they want to watch us talk. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers ] it's more, it's more they want >> jimmy: to hear you talk. [ cheers ] >> and they want to hear you. they want to know what you want to know about me. >> jimmy: that's true. >> yeah. they want to know. >> jimmy: well first, i want to -- >> what is jimmy going to ask? >> jimmy: yeah. i don't ever ask like any gotcha questions. are you worried when you come on my show? >> no. i'd like to see you get me. i would like it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i can't -- >> you can't. >> jimmy: it's like pokemon. i can't get you. >> no. >> jimmy: i can't get to you. [ laughter ] i can't get, you're ungettable. >> no. >> jimmy: yeah. i wouldn't want to do that. i want to -- >> what? what have you ever done?
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you have done anything. >> not really. >> jimmy: i don't think you have. >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> why is our voice so high? >> jimmy: i know, like i start -- [ laughter ] every time you come on i start talking like you. >> i love it. >> jimmy: and then you start talking like my impression of you. >> that's right. >> jimmy: and then by the end we're both talking like this. we're both yelling. [ laughter ] that's serious. that's what we both do when we yell and talk. [ applause ] i've got to say congratulations on "comedians in cars getting coffee." >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you got nominated. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is a great show. and it's on but i don't know where that is. i don't know how i find it. >> you don't have to. >> jimmy: i find it. >> just type in the name of the show. >> jimmy: and you find it. >> and you find it. >> jimmy: it is great. >> and it's pretty, thank you. and it's pretty, so it's the same category that this amazing show is in. >> jimmy: yeah, we are nominated for the same category. >> for the same category. how uncomfortable is this? [ cheers and applause ] it's so uncomfortable. >> jimmy: it's true. >> and here is why it's uncomfortable. >> jimmy: why? >> because this is as big as it gets. your show on a major network, the amount of money that is
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with three gopros in a used car. [ laughter ] i have now -- >> jimmy: that is -- >> we're now tied. we're tied. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. you know what? here is why i really like you. you're a happy person. >> don't you think i am? >> jimmy: yes. >> you know me pretty well. we've hung out a bunch. >> jimmy: are you a happy person? >> i'm a happy person. >> jimmy: but you're also very irritable. >> very irritable. >> jimmy: you do. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] i don't even get myself. i don't understand it. >> jimmy: you're -- yeah. >> everything's bothering, as much as i'm enjoying life. that enjoys life. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm extremely irritated all the time. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what is bugging you? what is bugging you recently? >> i don't know. well, every time you come to a a light in new york, you wait to see which cab door is going to open and what is going to come out of his mouth. [ laughter ] every cab driver at every red light spits something out on to the street. >> jimmy: but that's the time to spit. >> yeah.
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will just be reabsorbed into the city. [ laughter ] it's just, oh, it goes back in the flow of the city. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. like the ocean. yeah. >> yeah, just like the ocean. >> jimmy: yeah. what else is bugging you? >> well, i went and took the kids bowling the other day. >> jimmy: that's fun. my kids are too young. >> but pretty soon. >> jimmy: really? >> pretty soon. because they have it -- the way they set it up, here's how horrible we are as parents, our whole generation, you, me. they have this thing now in a a bowling alle in the gutter. sticks like a fence comes up in the gutter so that the kid can't not hit the pins. he can't miss. this is how nice life preparation, by the way. [ light laughter ] if your child is traumatized by a gutter ball, the kid's not going to make it, okay? [ laughter ] not going to make it. just quit. >> jimmy: just quit. yeah. >> quit right now. we need to put an extra gutter, that would be good parents. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: a third gutter.
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it's all gutters, kid. it's all gutters. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's exactly right. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: prepare them for life. >> prepare 'em. >> jimmy: how old are your kids now? >> kids are 15, 13 and 10. >> jimmy: do they have cell phones? >> yeah, sure. sure, yeah. >> jimmy: they all do, right? >> yeah, they all do. remember when your life was just your life? that was kind of what you were thinking about? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and now it's your life and your phone's battery life. [ laughter ] those are your l >> jimmy: those are your lives. >> yeah. and i don't know which is more important. [ light laughter ] because if your phone's dead, does it really matter if you're still alive? [ laughter ] it doesn't. >> jimmy: come on. >> when the phone's getting weak, do you feel tired? [ light laughter ] i feel -- when my phone is down like 19, i feel like, just so weak. >> jimmy: you're drained, as well. >> drained, yeah. >> jimmy: you're drained as well. "comedians in cars" is is it season eight? >> no. could be. >> jimmy: i mean, it's getting up there.
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short shows. very short. >> jimmy: this last one fantastic. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations on the nom -- you did an interview with lorne michaels. >> lorne michaels, your executive producer. >> jimmy: who i just love and he's just the smartest guy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the most fun, charming guy. >> he's a guy that everybody knows about but nobody really knows what's he really like? >> jimmy: he was the best interview i've ever seen with lorne michaels. >> oh, thank you. thank you. it was fun. >> jimmy: it was like going out to dinner with him. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and telling all those great stories. >> yes. >> jimmy: you know what else? >> they're great stories. >> jimmy: you're good. good audience. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: you laugh. [ light laughter ] >> i like comedy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i like anything funny. if i like the person, anything they say, i laugh. >> jimmy: yeah, it's great. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it's fun to watch. >> i'm like you that way. >> jimmy: you do, yeah? >> you're a good audience, too. >> jimmy: yeah. i like to -- you know i'm a fan of you and i -- >> yeah, i'm a fan of you. >> jimmy: i'm a fan of you. [ talking over each other ] [ cheers and applause ] you are you, i'm you. we're both you.
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everyone a clip, if you haven't seen it. here is lorne michaels describing how working with comedians is like watching monkeys at the zoo. [ light laughter ] this is "comedians in cars getting coffee." >> and then -- >> and then before you leave there's the monkeys. there's something about the joy, the sheer fooling around because it is what comedians do. you know, you can't tell when they're working. you know what i mean? you can't tell what they're doing or how they're working. and it's disorganized and chaotic and they are doing it to make each other laugh. >> and they never seem to be settling down and getting work done. >> no. they're talking in the hall about sports. >> yeah. >> and somehow at the end of the week there is a show. >> exactly. so you can't run that through a a normal organizational -- >> because they're the monkeys. >> yeah, because they're the monkeys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. that's the problem. >> we're the monkeys. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. i'm about to do a lip sync battle will seth rogen. >> oh. >> jimmy: later on in the show. have you ever lip sync battled me? >> no, no.
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anything you ask me to do, i would do. and i don't want to do it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i don't think i would like it or be good at it. if you say do it, i will do it. >> jimmy: all right, then -- >> not now. >> jimmy: not now. maybe some time. >> some time. some time. >> jimmy: all right, good. guys, watch jerry's emmy-nominated series. [ cheers and applause ] jerry seinfeld, right there. seth rogen joins us after the break! stick around, everybody. it will be great. [ cheers and applause ] ?? i note the obvious differences in the human family. some of us are serious, some thrive on comedy. i've sailed upon the seven seas and stopped in every land, i've seen the wonders of the world not yet one common man. i know ten thousand women
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mirror twins are different although their features jibe, and lovers think quite different thoughts while lying side by side. i note the obvious differences between each sort and type, but we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. we are more alike, my friends,
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?? why be in the kitchen... when you can be in the moment? ?? olive garden now offers catering delivery. we make the food and deliver it to your door...
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how does a girl go from this... oh, screw off. this. [ beeps ] i'm pregnant? you have no idea which of us is the father? surprise. [ laughs nervously ] bridget, who do you want to be the father? the billionaire? or the ex? bridget, i've missed you. oh, god. how would you like to give birth? quickly. [ moaning in pain ] just think away the pain.
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? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined by a a very funny and hard working comedian, writer, and director, starting next friday, you can see him and an amazing cast including jonah hill, kristen wiig, edward norton and selma hayek in the first r-rated computer generated
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it's called "sausage party." it's hilarious. please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, here is seth rogen! [ cheers and applause ] ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? >> tariq: what i wanna know is where the sausage at? >> jimmy: we're so happy you came back. >> that's so nice. back -- >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: they love you. come on, we love you. >> that's so nice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're in a great mood tonight. thank you, thank you, thank you. >> thank you, that's wonderful. >> jimmy: you have a history of following jerry seinfeld. >> i do have a very unfortunate history of follow jerry seinfeld. when i was, like, 14 years old, i wanted to be in the just for laughs comedy festival which is in montreal, and to audition for it, i had to fly to los angeles, which is weird because i'm already canadian, don't
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nervous and i'm at a showcase at the improv. >> jimmy: on melrose? >> yeah on melrose, and so i'm about to go up, and someone tells me seinfeld's coming. i was, like, what? he's coming, and if he gets here before it's your time, he's going to go up, and then you'll go up. i was, like, no, man! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't follow seinfeld. >> tell them no. d do that. that's not how it works. and so i literally remember seeing a porsche pull up out front so i was like "no." i know him and his porsches. his jewish parents should be ashamed, by the way, but anyway. [ laughter ] so -- a porsche pulled up, my parents would kill me. and then i see i see him getting out, and he goes up, right before i'm supposed to, and he, like, annihilates like he's very funny. he's talking about missing
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it's the hits you know. >> jimmy: he has all the hits. [ light laughter ] he's the greatest. >> yeah, yeah. and he, like, annihilates, and the whole time i'm just standing there, like, i hate you jerry seinfeld. [ light laughter ] how could you do this to me? >> jimmy: you ruined my whole shot of going to montreal. >> exactly and i get up on stage, and i have, like, what is to this date the most comedicly traumatizing experience of my entire life, and i remember, like, microphones give up just an electric hum if you don't hear anything else, it's like the sound of a speaker, and i remember being on stage, and to this point i remember the moment, where i was, "like, man, i can hear that buzz really loud right now." >> jimmy: oh no, i'm so sorry. >> never has a room full of people been so silent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> yeah, and to this day, i personally dislike jerry seinfeld. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and he did it again tonight. >> he did it again tonight. ruining it again! >> jimmy: i really had the same thing. >> really? >> jimmy: well, i had to follow
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he came in, i saw the car outside. >> what is he doing? >> jimmy: i just -- i think he's making us tougher. >> yeah, i don't know. i think he finds out something cool we're about to do and then does it first. [ laughter ] i like, see him leaving my wife's bedroom. [ laughter ] don't bother, pal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well -- >> i took care of that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's segue into the movie. >> that's an organic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you for the setup, "sausage party." >> i'm sorry yav i have to apologize, like i talked to the "new york times" about it. i'm like, you guys should not have to talk about this. i apologize. >> jimmy: well, i've heard a a lot of things i like about this. number one is you have been working on this for, like, ten years. >> yeah, which is humiliating to say about a talking hot dog movie, but, yes. [ laughter ] a third of my life, i've been working on making this movie. >> jimmy: you wanted it to be good, and the animation is spectacular, by the way. >> thank you so much.
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skin and vibe and the overall feeling of a pixar movie, and then we made it completely deranged and insane, and, you know, pixar is so good at examining the secret life of cars and toys and bugs, and we're like, well, if you look at the secret life of food, it's horrifying because you eat it. and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> so to us, it was a brilliant movie idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the cast is jonah hill, michael cera, kristen wigg, james paul rudd, edward norton, it's unbelievable, and the music is by allen menken, who's won oscars. >> he's won like eight oscars i think. >> jimmy: how did you convince him? he did like "little mermaid." >> he did the "aladdin" and "the little mermaid." >> jimmy: how did you convince him to do "sausage party?" this is fantastic! >> it was great. we offered him money and then he -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i think he probably called the academy to make sure they can't take away your oscars at


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